Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

It's taking me all my willpower not to make a Deidara joke right now.

 

Oh dear. How are you to resist the compel on Evil QM tomorrow, then?

 

Deidara seems more of a "Squish. Boom!" person than a "Boom, squish!" person.

 

FTFY

 

That isn't blackmail?

E: Maybe you're confused because Keiko isn't the player character yet.

 

"You know, Keiko's willing to go pretty damn far for her loved ones, too."

"Too?"

"Long story. I'm trying to learn to respect people's agency better, so I'm not going to try to micromanage her or anything about it. But she's aware that you fucked Mari up in the head, and the only thing staying her hand toward you is the Mist-Leaf relations, and that you're my mother. That's not going to change, but you need to address Mari before Keiko does something we'll all regret. She probably won't."

 

HANA: Alright, then. *proceeds to do a ton of horrifying shit in order to keep Keiko from retaliating*

 

I was thinking more...

"Kagome: AAAAAAHHHH WHY ARE YOU FINGER PAINTING A SEAL WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE

Hazō: THAT'S THE POINT. KEIKO IS MAD AT ME.

Kagome: Oh, carry on then. Try not to leave survivors."

"Umm...."

"And that's why you shouldn't piss off Keiko."

 

Yeah, we really need to establish ground rules with Hana that she not fuck up our team any more...

 

Explosives solve all problems
Mari has problems now.
Meaning we need whatever the social equivalent of explosives is .
(Mmm mind explosives , there is now way that can go wrong )

 

Aren't those just regular explosives?

 

Speaking of madness, we now need to combine the earbusters and casino seals, reverse a few of the circuits so that they emit chakra in response to vibration, and produce highly dangerous and radioactive chakra-talkies.

 

If there was ever a tag this quest deserved, it's this one.

 

Aaaaaagh. What the hell are we supposed to do with this whole Mari situation?

Maybe we should just fuckin' kick it up the line. Talk to Kagome, and Hana, and Jiraiya, and get the Yamanaka to treat her.

 

If you think @Velorien is going to respond to that Compel with something other than a shark-toothed grin and an bloodcurdling cackle... you haven't been paying attention.

 

Oh no! Velorien is Kisame!

 

AFAIK, that'd be either a hug or a knife to the gut.

Neither exactly works for Keiko, seeing as she's a n-stacked minefield, mines layered on mines layered on mines.

 

I dunno, a hug would do a hell of a lot on Keiko's psyche.

 

Poll for curiosity. How well do people think that Hazō+co. handled that last conversation?

1. They did poorly, and their mistakes were obvious.
2. They should have done better.
3. They gave it a good shot but could have done better.
4. They did well, and it's not obvious how to do better.
5. They did about as well as anyone could have.
6. Every problem can be solved with enough explosives.

 

I wanted to give you but it's broken on my phone, so I'll give you instead.

 

I'll give you a , and the reason is obvious and left as an exercise to the reader.

 

Pandaa is weaponized cute, maybe he could actually help.

 

Meow.

 

*ahem* I noticed it on my first read-through, thankyouverymuch.

I've seen what he's got for you for tomorrow. Trust me it's...impressive. Also, friggin' huge.

 

What did you notice? Keiko was just asking about a chakra ostrich.

Exciting.