2nd January 2012
14:32 -5 GMT
"…moral distinction between killing someone by using magic to stop someone's heart and just shooting them? Or stopping someone's heart and conjuring a fireball?"
I don't find Zatanna's cheerful response to Mr Kovar's question on magical ethics in any way strange, but I think that he was expecting something a little more… Conventional?
"I… Had been told that certain types of magic… You could not stop using them?"
Zatanna's eyes move to her staff for a second. As do
mine. "I.. guess if you decide that you want to kill someone… You're always going to
know that spell... And if you keep making enemies, you're more likely to be in a position where you want to kill people in the future." She shrugs as we walk down the slope into the training area. "
Demons like it when people get addicted to making deals with them, but with demons it's
them who do most of the work, not the one summoning them."
"…agreed to help him."
Richard and Robert are at attention in front of Diana and… A
woman I don't recognise. A woman who I assume doesn't feel the cold, because that is
not a winter costume.
"Good afternoon, sir. Another new recruit?
"
"Ah, fuck
you-" The woman raises her left middle finger at me. "-
asshole."
"I'm.. afraid that I'm in a relationship at the moment...
" I move my eyes from her to Diana, eyebrows raised in hope of an explanation.
"This is Mister Joseph Hamill. He recently had an encounter with a device which we believe may have been created by a mad scientist: a round yellow device-" She makes a circle with her hands about twenty centimetres in diameter. "-this size, with a dial like that found on a rotary dial telephone."
Raquel raises her eyebrows.
"Damn, girl."
Ah.
That makes a little more sense. I never read any comics where the H-dial was the
focus. One with
Alan where someone stole it to prevent Father Time researching it, and I… Think there was one with the Metal Men. Powers of dubious utility, often combined with
radical physical transformations…
"Ah.
That makes a little more sense.
"
"Etta called me after he was apprehended breaking into the Themysciran Embassy. I have confirmed that his version of events is largely true. Unfortunately, his transformation was a…" Diana looks at…
Mister Hamill and he… She..? Tries to fold his arms across her chest, only for her breasts to get in the way. Yes, I can see how that could happen. "
Traumatic one, and he lost hold of the device. It fell into the Hudson River."
I nod, then turn to Mr Kovar.
"Starfire, how waterproof are you?
"
"Pressure does not trouble me, but I still need to-"
"Gniyonna ecived, raeppa ni ym dnah!"
"-breathe."
Zatanna holds out her left hand, violet mist swirling around it for a moment before evaporating to reveal…
Zatanna frowns and holds up the device. "Anyone.. know what this is?"
"Yes, I hadn't realised that they kept it.
" I take it from her.
"Red Arrow and Artemis played a prank on me with this last year. Plug it into the Mountain's communication system and it makes the internal communications system play 'God Save the Queen'.
Quite annoying, but not what we're looking for.
"
Zatanna looks at Mr Hamill. "Did you.. get a picture or anything?"
She shakes her head. "No. I thought it was a.. kids' toy or something."
"Gnimrofsnart laid, raeppa ni ym dnah!"
Another cloud of violet mist and… An
actual baby's toy. It does
have a phone dial, and… Pressing the large plastic buttons changes the pictures. Huh. I think a small child would probably find that f-. Ah. LexCorp. Never mind then.
"Raeppasid." The toy vanishes in another puff of mist as Zatanna shakes her head. "Maybe if I had a better description?"
Mr Hamill shrugs, and if I needed any confirmation that she wasn't wearing a bra with that costume I now have it. "I was just playing with the dial. I wasn't even really paying it any attention."
"Do you have a picture of what you looked like before your transformation?
"
"What, you think I was walking around dressed like this when I was a
dude? Alla my stuff vanished when I transformed." She looks down at herself and grimaces. "Do you-?" She looks at Diana. "Do you have any, like, clothes I could borrow? I don't.. really…" She makes a vague cupping gesture.
Diana keeps a completely straight face. "I don't believe that I own anything in your size. Orange Lantern?"
"Sir?
"
"Would you please act as Mister Hamill's tailor? I would also like you to attempt to assess how powerful the device has made him."
"Sir.
"
"Robin, I would like you to investigate the device. Mister Hamill found it on a building site, but he has no idea how it got there. I would like to find the device, but as Orange Lantern is fond of pointing out…"
He nods. "If someone could make that dial thing
once, they could do it again."
"The ability to reliably give superpowers to people is something of grave concern to the world." She looks pointedly at me. I clear my throat and dip my eyes. "If the person who made it is a criminal then they need to be stopped. If they are a legitimate researcher, we need to find out how the device left their custody and encourage them to improve their security."
"You got it."
Diana looks at me for a moment, then smiles with… Embarrassment? "Which of you has seniority?"
Richard and I look at each other for a moment.
"Well, technically, Aqualad then Miss Martian, but I guess since they're not here..?"
"I was gone for six months. He does.
"
Diana nods. "Very well. I will leave Mister Hamill in your care-."
Mister Hamill pulls a face. "Wait, with the sidekicks?"
"You aren't in any danger, Mister Hamill, and we have no evidence of a criminal conspiracy. These young heroes are perfectly capable of performing an investigation."
"And I did once spin the moon around.
" I shrug.
"Just saying.
"
Mister Hamill holds her gaze for a moment, then bows her head. "God, I'm… I'm
sorry, this whole thing's got me so stressed out…"
Beryl pulls her neck in slightly. "Yes, being a woman.
Dreadful position to be in."
"That is alright." Diana lays her right hand on Mr Hamill's left shoulder. "We are trying to help. Please cooperate with them."
Mr Hamill nods. "Yeah, yeah, I will."
Diana nods, then turns around and strides towards the zeta tube, Mr Hamill's eyes firmly affixed on her posterior.
"Robin, can I borrow Squire? I could use her intelligence and.. knowledge of female attire.
"
Beryl smirks. "Oh, I
know nothing in
my wardrobe would fit him."
"Okay. Everyone else, we're heading for New York."
I smile at the inadvertent transsexual.
"Mr Hamill? Please come with me.
"
